As many of you will know, I'm rereading the Harry Potter Series for the first time in 5 years, and my first time doing to to coincide with Harry Potter Month! I wasn't going to post about my reread at all this year - I was planning to save it for next year, but I was just punched in the gut my feels this morning and I spontaneously wrote this post in my head...
One of) The Most Important Moment in the Series
I've made it to Prisoner of Azkaban, one of my absolute favorite books in the series and I was blown away by the amount of feelings that hit me during the climax of this book. All year, Harry has been struggling with the Dementors and the horrid memories of his parents that he has to relive every time he faces them. In many ways, this is the year where Harry faces the ghost of his parents much more than ever before. The Marauders Map ends up in Harry's possession to begin with...and then there's the revelation of his true Patronus...and the form it takes.
Before we get to THAT last moment, I want to talk about what Harry goes through, first in thinking Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban to murder him. Then that Sirius was actually his dad's best friend and betrayed him to Voldemort. The subsequent rage and heartbreak he feels just makes me ache for the poor guy, who's already been through more than his fair share of heartache. Finally coming face to face with Black and uncovering the truth about what happened on that faithful night 12 years ago must have turned his whole world upside down.
And the moment when Harry honestly believes Sirius' story, he accepts Sirius for what he is. And in one gorgeous moment, Harry has a family. Sirius even asks Harry to come live with him and for a little while, that hope is tangible. And my feels skyrocket every.damn.time.
Of course, it doesn't last. Pettigrew escapes. Lupin wolfs out. And Sirius plays the hero, only to get cornered by Dementors...
Which brings me to the true purpose of this post. Harry failing to protect his godfather, Hermione and himself, near passing out, spots a Patronus and what he imagines is his father. After being 'rescued' he and Hermione use the Time-Turner to save Sirius and Buckbeak, and while waiting for the moment where they can bus out Sirius, Harry sets off to see if he can't spy his father...or his father's ghost...or whatever it may be. Only to realize that it wasn't his father. It.Was.Him. And here's what I want to bask in with you all:
*I'm going to pause here and let that sink in (and to cry some more).*
THAT^^ is why Harry is MY hero. And why he should be EVERYONE'S hero. THAT realization is HUGE. Most of us spend our entire lives waiting for someone to save us, to help us, to take care of us. Harry Potter, age 13, realizes that HE IS THAT HERO. And he saves HIMSELF. This is such a ginormous part of why I hero worship the guy. And why I cannot fathom why people can love the Harry Potter Series and NOT LOVE Harry!
So that's my Prisoner of Azkaban feels-trip. I'm not even going to get started on Harry not getting that time with Sirius, or poor Sirius free of Azkaban, but still a prisoner of his faith, or poor Lupin and his tragic existence. I'm just going to end by paraphrasing the great Rubeus Hagrid:
Never insult Harry Potter in front of me.